Go, Going, Gone
by OchaRiku
Summary: Time is a precious thing. Its presence can't be ignored or denied; it can't be stopped or restrained. So as those sorrows and joyous beings which time has granted in your life pass by, there is not much one can do. It's been said that the wisest thing is to observe. Watch as those things go, are going, and gone. Because for all mankind knows, time is a double edged sword.


**DISCLAIMER: Not till this day have I been able to claim MaiHiME as my own, and I never shall... though this story concept is mine ^^ New story for you! It's replacing my zombie fic, 'Living to the Fullest'. It was on demand for a while, and I've warned you guys what would happen to it eventually... but enjoy this plz.**

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Go

_"Go ahead, get started."_

_"I can't believe you're making me do this right now."_

_"You said you want to remember everything, right? And we can't afford a new video camera right now, so let's be conventional about it." The woman with ebony locks swept her hair from her face, readjusting her reading glasses on her nose bridge. She was flipping through some pages of notes, red pen and highlighter markings all over the white paper like coded graffiti._

_"You're telling me. You're the author here, so why don't you write the stuff down?"_

_It was just another weekend, the two women finding themselves lounging at home rather than out in the bustling city around them like other young adults nowadays. The blunette resting on the couch pressed on the bandages going across her chest and shoulders, reinforcing the soreness behind her stiff and overworked body._

_"I'm a newbie author who is working on her first book – one of the reasons we can't afford much right now. Besides, I'm so busy because of my publisher," the brunette said, turning in her seat away from her work while lowering her glasses, peering at the woman a few feet from her in their petite living room. She placed her hands in her lap, slightly biting on her bottom lip from how much of the other woman's abs were exposed due to the bandaging she had on._

_"I guess… but now that I think about it, we totally could afford a new video camera. Firefighters aren't broke, you know?" The blunette answered, completely oblivious to the look the room's other inhabitant was giving her. _

_"Ara, that may be true but battered up ones like you aren't supposed to be going out anywhere! You can barely stand up by yourself and– Ah ah! Don't even try it!" The brunette rose from the barstool in the small kitchen area, lying over the raven haired girl and pushing her back down onto the couch. She smirked at her when she caught the girl wince a little under the pressure. "See, told you." Before the blunette could retort, soft lips grazed her own, the scent of cherries and tea overwhelming, trapped in a chestnut enclave. _

_"I always told you to never put yourself in danger, to put your own safety first," the woman breathed against her lips, "but look at you right now. You never listen to me. You scare me to death." Lips moved on the ones beneath them, as slow and as steady as their breathing. Slender fingers were caught up in brown locks, massaging the latter's scalp as their lips connected and parted agonizingly slow._

_"You… you love me to death." The brunette broke the kiss, lifting up only an inch to peer at emerald eyes, catching their gaze. Rubies trailed from those eyes all the way down to those lips. "Whenever you leave, I'm left wondering if I'll be able to do this again. To kiss you, or… or look at you like this."_

_"You'll always be able to, I–"_

_"Must you always do everything… to the extreme?"_

_"Shizuru…I–" Lips silenced the reply once more, Shizuru's hands cupping the firefighter's cheeks, light fluttering tickling her insides. Natsuki compared the feeling to fire, obviously, the blaze sent through her insides from this girl even more brilliant, more touching; it was realer. Fingers caught the edges of the brunette's blouse, the girl now lying fully over the injured servicewoman on the couch, though Natsuki didn't care. The pain was insignificant to this moment. Moments like these played on her mind every time she stepped off that blaring truck. That face was engraved in her mind as she faced the flames. She was the reason why she could keep going in them every time a defenseless life was in the element's presence. The reason she never took herself out of danger… was because she knew she could die happily. She realized she'd have enough courage to die for Shizuru as she had to love her. It didn't matter to Natsuki._

_"So… about that journal keeping…" Natsuki muttered breathlessly after another minute of slow, airless kissing._

_"You're still writing it." Shizuru smiled on Natsuki's lips, giggling a little before pecking them softly and rising from the couch. "Like I said, you're the one who wanted to record every moment past our engagement, possibly after our wedding too. And from that lovely speech you recited while on one knee, I'll suggest that you buy plenty more books and ink pens. Because forever's a hell of a long time." Natsuki smiled._

_"Tell me about it."_

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_June 10, 2013 (Day 583)_

You know, I really don't like starting at the end of a story. But… but starting at the beginning feels like it would be too hard for me now.

It's been months. Two years almost since I've gotten this book. And what a bad fiancé I am. I haven't even recorded a thing. A part of me wishes I had done like you said before, but another, weaker part of me is glad I hadn't. I would not have made it as far as I have today if those perfect days were recorded and depicted everything that we were. I would not have wanted to hold on to life. Can you believe it? A firefighter like me who is determined to save the life of others doesn't even want her own. If there was a chance to give life away in exchange for another's, or even in exchange for death, I would've done it. Since I was a teen, I never thought my life had much significance, so I steadied myself on becoming something decent, a better person. You helped me be that even after I became a firefighter. But what have I done for you?

…I bought a video camera a couple of days ago even though I had enough money long before. I guess I finally convinced myself to record 'us'. Not just because you wanted it, but because I need it. Keeping everything inside, it isn't healthy. It's killing me, it really is. Even though I've made it this long. But before I took it out the box, set everything up and pressed record, I found this journal again.

You know, it's sad that instead of telling you, I must write the fact that I never lost the journal. Matter of fact, I was probably hiding it from myself more than from you. Back then, I hid it so you wouldn't find it and realize I hadn't started writing yet. I told you I lost it just to get out of having to write. And like I wrote before, I'm slightly glad I did that now. It's been so long, but the wounds I face are renewed every day. When I face the fact that God has allowed me to live another day, the pain resurfaces. And that feeling may be resurfacing in another few hours judging from the time of day.

I'm starting at the end, but… even though I don't want to, I'm going to go back. Back to when things were right. To explain what I'm doing… I'm going back to let go. The guys at the station and Nao have been telling me that I need to come to face with my problems, and it seems like I can only do this here, within the covers of this book. I'm retelling to forget.

I'm going back, to let go.

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"March 13th, 2011," the blunette mumbled, taking the butt of her pen hostage between her front top and bottom teeth. She flipped through the blank pages of the journal, an aura of withered and aged material wafting from its creases. Natsuki flipped to the back of the book, turning the object around so its back cover was flat on the table. "March 13th…," the girl repeated.

_Day 1 of … many more to go._

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**A/N: Short chapter, as typical for my first chapters. I would have liked to make this a prologue instead, but didn't want the chapter numbers to get off from the actual content, so :/**

**Anyways, since this story is replacing an on-demand story, this one will be on demand too. It may seem confusing to some of you now since I didn't give you much info (because I'd rather this be a prologue lol), but if you show enthusiasm in this fic, I'll be sure to update it and provide you more chapters! Mmm, so as some of you may be able to tell, since the story's starting backwards from this point on, this fic will be more centered on ShizNat than my other fics where the two aren't together yet. So enjoy the fluff in this before you reach the angst... if we even make it that far (remember, it's up to you). So review please! I'd love feedback on this concept.**

**- Ocha-chan**


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